Saturday, May 9, 2009

Bridal Blessingway

On Thursday Night, a bridal blessingway was held at The Womb Room by Mama Roots. The decor was based on the book, The Red Tent, by Anita Diamant. This book was #1 on the book list that I had made for the supposed book party in Saint Louis. The wooden toys and birth activism items had been moved out of sight. A red umbrella tent, red lanterns, and a red scarf on a lamp all gave the room a calming and inspirational feel. The red food: strawberries, raspberries, peppers, M&M's, kalamata olives, and sparkling red grape juice were sweet and pleasing to the tonque and worked as a cure for the mind. The bread was good too!

Upon arrival, I could feel the excitement emanating from the old birth center. The stairs lit our way to the spectacular room. There was a candle on almost every other other step. I said hello to everyone and then we transitioned into the blessingway. Mama Roots began the sharing of blessings with some quotes from The Red Tent. To paraphrase, may the color red, the color of love and life, unite us as women. I am so happy that she has facilitated this group in which women can feel comfortable and eager to gather together to share lives. She asked me to tell the story of the supposed book party with everyone. Then, she related her surprise and relief when she realized that I had not yet received my number one choice. I realized why she felt that way when she gave me a signed copy of the book. We hugged. I had read the book about two years ago and loved it for its empowering message that women can be strong and help each other through difficult times. It also includes midwifery. I had never gotten the book. I'm so happy that I waited. I really felt and feel that everything in life has a reason. Somehow, at the blessingway, my life was making more sense and it was connected with this moment and the wonderful ladies.

Women presented beads with inspirational perspectives for the marriage life. I received a wonderful home made butterfly card and two white and blue butterfly beads from Amy. Her advice was to be like the butterfly. May our love transform our souls. I was pleasantly surprised to receive not only beads but also a card. Amy has a talent for photography. Then, Candy presented her white and purple bead with the advice to laugh through the good times and the bad. We have found more than one occasions to laugh at the triviality of the downs. Chris-aka Mama Roots-gave me a wholey rock (sp?). She described an event that happened in the beginning of her relationship with her husband. They both loved wholey rocks. Her advice was to remember that we are not only lovers and partners in life, but also best friends. Thank you. Then, Chris read a blessing from a friend of mine who lives in Kansas City, Tracey. Tracey was not able to come, but she did send an e-mail. She was there from the beginning of Borislav and I's relationship. On the night that was really a first date for us even though we didn't go anywhere, I was really nervous because he was late. Tracey felt my energy and made me some tea to soothe my nerves. She has been so positive about our relationship. I don't know what I would do without her. Her advice was to continue to fall in love throughout our lives together. I'm starting to tear up just remembering this blessing of women in my life. I cried at the same time that night. My friend, Kim, did not realize that she was supposed to bring a bead. She felt bad, but I know that the perfect bead for her to find for me is still out there. It was just a blessing for her to be there. She wished us happiness in her tears and I, again, started to overflow with love. We hugged. Chandra gave a wonderful bead that she got from an Art Fair. Her advice was to know that during the hard times of a relationship is when it is about to become even more beautiful. People fall more in love during the challenges of life, if they are committed to seeing whatever may befall them. I have just met her, but already I feel like she is such a sweet and caring person that I want to get to know better. Jessica arrived and was able to present her beads, which were clear and three pointed. The points were for my fiance, myself, and our son. Her blessing that was said almost towards the end of the evening was for our relationship to be like coral and pearl. It takes years of work to make a pearl, but in the end it is a beautiful treasure. She also sang a song that she and her husband wrote. I really liked the Native American bag with beads, the hankerchief, candy, and removal tattoo that she gave as well.

Part of the blessingway was the tattoing of my ankles. I chose a design that was a sort of chain with a turtle in the center. The turtles were facing each other towards the insides of the ankles. One was a female with a filled in circle. The other was a male with an empty circle. The turtle, for us, represents our relationship. If we endure the hardships and continue on our journey we will find true happiness in this life together. We have built a strong foundation and desire to continue to grow with each other. Chandra drew on the design with a watercolor pencil. Candy mixed the henna with another solution. Then, Amy, Jessica, Kim, and Chris traced the design with henna. It was a very relaxing experience. For me, when the ladies decorated my ankles they were preparing my feet to walk into the next part of my journey: marriage. It was nice to have their support and blessings. I will remember this night for the rest of my life. I hope to be able to share it with my son and future children. I would like to think that more women would choose to have a blessingway before their wedding. It is a time to share experiences, advice, and blessings. I loved sharing mine and hearing others' love stories. It is also a time to reflect on all of our relationships with our significant others. They really are all very special men. I am anticipating our wedding on Thursday. I wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day. Thanks for all blessings everywhere.


  1. How lovely! I'm so glad you had the bridal blessing you desire and deserve. :-) Blessings and Happy Mother's Day to you!!

  2. Lots of wishes for your wedding! I am so excited for you. haha. I'm sure you will have a very blissful life ahead. I'm still waiting for my soul mate. lol.


  3. Thank you for posting this gorgeous story of your Blessingway!
    I have never participated in one, and I can't even begin to find the words to describe just how beautiful and meaningful everything you described is. Oh, wouldn't it be lovely if *EVERY* shower would be done in this very mindful way! I have been getting to know Chris through her blog, and she is quite a special woman. I truly appreciate and respect the work that she is involved in, you are very lucky to know her and to have such close friends that bless you and I am sure that you bless in return!!