Butternut Squash Disaster

Hello all! I'm sorry, no pics. We hope all is well. We have continued to work on the house. It's amazing when you start a task another unfolds right before your eyes whether you like it or not. The basement floor has been scratched, uncaulked, and recaulked. Now, it needs to be washed once more before we can paint and seal it. I would really like to set up a library downstairs. It would also be nice to be able to do some yoga without having to go out of the house and into the coming wintry weather. My husband is most excited to be able to use a garage for the first time in his life. :)

We have also been working on the yard. I've planted two blackberry bushes on the side of the house. I hope they do well. I have dreams of jam and pies. My mind constantly wanders to the future. I'm looking forward to planning and planting a garden, berry bushes, and fruit trees in the Spring. I am, originally, from an area where farming was the way of life for most people. I remember working in the garden with my grandma as a child. I loved planting seeds. I carried buckets to water them. Then, I watched them grow into beautiful spectacles of nature. I was amazed and still am at the work of God's vision. When it came time to harvest, I knew that the vegetables and fruit were locally grown with love. How I want to share these experiences with our son.

Speaking of the little man, he has been doing well. We have settled into our new home and are able to give him more of the kind of attention he so needs. He is working on being potty trained. He's attempting to say words like cracker, apple, done, and yogurt. He is what makes my world worth living. He's such a blessing from God. He helps me see myself more clearly. He is so patient with me and my journey in becoming the kind of mama he needs and the person I want to be. He loves to be outside. He likes to pick up sticks. He give hugs and kisses. He likes to be read to on a daily basis, which the english major side of me just adores. We have been attending a music class every Saturday. He can clap and keep to a rhythm. He dances to music. He likes having private concerts from his uncle and grandpa. He sings. I will sing and then he will sing. Sometimes, he will sing without being prompted. He has a wonderful voice. He is musically inclined and I plan to give him every opportunity possible so that he can deepen his talents and appreciation. He is wonderfully himself and I love every aspect, even his independence.

Borislav is doing well. He is trying to keep everyone happy at the homestead. He works all day in corporate america to come home only to work some more on the projects that mostly I have deemed necessary. I don't like being that person. It's just so hard to get everything done while I have such a willing little helper. He is also an amazing person in my life. He is so patient and willing to help. He listens. We had a delightful Halloween together. We carved a pumpkin for the first time with Ilia. Little man didn't want to have anything to do with the pumpkin guts. Afterwards, I drew out a sun on the pumpkin, which he carved. I really love the moments when we are all present together.

He has graciously turned over his car to Ilia and I to take to work. So, often times he walks to and from work. He would like to save up enough money to buy a car. I want a home birth. No, I am not pregnant. I hope to be in less than a year. Anyway, sometimes we will catch him walking down the street towards the house, and I have an overwhelming sense of love and appreciation for his sacrificial nature. I feel like just as long as we're together the world is balanced in place. Good man.

We have been enjoying the fall and friends. It's amazing how friends become part of your family. It helps me to understand the time when Christ rejected his mother and siblings. He said, "Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?" And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my heavenly Father is my brother, and sister, and mother." I understand more now. Sometimes friends treat you with more respect and consideration that your family. At least, that is my experience. We are all in this world together to help and love each other. We are not to demean and control one another. We are supposed to guide our children in the truth and respect them for who they are as people. I appreciate the life lesson that I have been learning. Can't we all see the light in all of us. Can't we see how similar we all are in reality? Maybe if we loved ourselves, we could love others. Or maybe if we loved each other, maybe then we could truly know ourselves and find love. I don't know. I've been thinking....

So, what's with the title? One of the first squashes that we bought, Ilia just loved. So, I bought two at the local farmer's market inspired by the movie Food, Inc. He does not want to have anything to do with the second one. I've tried a little cinnamonon on some bites, which he ate and found interesting. He's not so easily fooled. Yesterday, he started throwing bits on the floor. I really don't like to clean up messes of food. I really don't like it when food is wasted. I know that I need to get over that as a mom. Kids make food messes. Adults do too. I just don't like the negative intent. He looks at me and knowingly drops the food on the floor after he's been told for months not to do so. Hmm... So, does any body have any recipes that are tasty using butternut squash? We have one uncooked squash left. What to do?